Today I made a list of goals. I was taking a bath and the idea just hit me. Hit me with some urgency, “makealistofyourgoalsrightnow!” So I did. Some are practical – Acquire Health Insurance. Some are quaint – Call My Mama. Some of them seem small but in actuality are enormous- Dance In Public. Some are quite lofty – Quit Worrying About Looking Stupid And Take Gigantic Risks.
It all started a couple of weeks ago in Sally Carley’s Yoga for 50+ series which I assist her in and substitute teach when I am exceedingly lucky. It was the first class in the series and we were going around the room and introducing ourselves and what brought us to yoga. These students are so beautiful and they floor me with their insights on a regular basis. A man who wears his blue jeans to yoga class blurted out, “I just realized that this class in the only time that I focus on myself in a positive manner.” Another woman said, “I’m convinced that our job in life is to pick up all of the pieces of ourselves that we find as we go along our path and bring them back home.” I’m telling you… these beautiful creatures.
Sally, who is a person I so value and embodies a presence in the world that I aspire to, began to talk about being a person over 50 and looking back on all of the large and small choices that have informed your life; the one choice that brought you to Seattle, or that landed you in that career, or with that partner, or those children. I immediately thought, “Oh Sh@#, I’d better start making some choices!” I am not 50+, I am extremely-almost 30. I’ve started a few large ventures in my life and somehow haven’t quite been able to muster enough courage to let myself be as large as the ventures require that I be. Depending on the day and my proximity to grace I can see that as devastating failure or as something in the works which my view is not yet large enough to see entirely. Making choices even tiny choices, are like smoke signals you send to “the big match.com in the sky” as my mother would say. They translate as “Hey big guys, I’m here and I want to live on purpose! I’m not just being tossed around with the current. I intend to be fulfilled and inspired, and to manifest my inner being though my actions in this life!” Some choices will end up being temporary choices, and are just as important as the keepers because they keep you participating in the creation of your life and they add to your unique history.
A part of my bath today was about making a list of goals. Tonight I rolled out my mat and lit the candles on my alter. I set up my laptop because that is the kind of modern yogini I am. Through TED Talks I was linked to this commencement speech by Steve Jobs who passed away today. I listened as I practiced as a way of honoring his life and spirit and I dedicated my practice to him as a gift. As it turns out, it was Steve Jobs who gave the gift to me. A part of my practice tonight is writing this blog entry (yep, I’m still on my mat). The mat is practice for life. It’s like sending smoke signals to the big guys.
Thank You Steve Jobs!